Much has been said about Shoojit Sircar's latest.
Pink has been out for more than a week, so it's safe to assume you've watched it.
And since you've watched Pink, you're probably wondering - 'Who am I from the movie?'
Wonder no more.
1. Describe yourself in one word.
Mostly As: You are Advocate Deepak Sehgal.
You're a really good lawyer – the kind who can brush the facts under the carpet and sway jury opinion your way. Sadly enough, Rustom released a few weeks earlier, and there is no jury system any more. It's probably what caused your downward spiral to the mental condition you have – staring. You really love Mad Max: Fury Road. Just calm down with the Immortan Joe LARPing you're so into. Dat cockroach tho.
Mostly Bs: You are Minal Arora.
You're a female character in a movie – and you're good at it. You play the part of 'plot element' perfectly. Are you the victim, are you the culprit – you keep nobody guessing. You suck at telling dirty jokes, but make up for it with your drink-pouring skills. Words like 'spunky', 'confident', and 'modern' are usually used to describe you, but some people still think you're a ███. Truth be told, you really don't have much of a personality other than the circumstantial personality everyone's applauding. At least you're not Andrea.
Mostly Cs: You are Falak Ali.
You're every girl next door – you have a job, ailing family, loans and a teacher-friend you used to date. You're a cuddler and just want to be held sometimes. But never after a rock show. You love wearing Indian. But never at a rock show. You have poor choice in friends. It's about time you start making more money.
Mostly Ds: You are Andrea.
And that's about it. You are the only character in the movie without a surname. For your sake, let's argue it's because surnames perpetuate patriarchy. You live a tiring life, where every day you correct people for calling you Aan-drea. You're from Meghalaya.
Mostly Es: You are Advocate Prashant Mehra.
You're a screaming, shouting, interrupting caricature of a lawyer. Every case is a fact-finding battle for you. You're pragmatic, and believe justice lies in the evidence. You do whatever you can to lay the burden of proof on the other party; and you would successfully do so, if only you were better written.
Mostly Fs: You are Rajveer Singh.
You used to host Emotional Atyachaar, but now you are every Delhi launda stereotype – rich, spoilt, good looking, connected. You're a romantic; every time a girl rejects you, you die a little. You really love Mario Puzo's The Godfather, especially the part about making offers people cannot refuse.
Mostly Gs: You are Vijay Varma.
You're a bro. You believe in bhai-chara. When shit goes down, everyone calls you. It's no wonder you have a Messiah complex – only you can save the day. You're great with prank calls, and even better with crank calls. Criminal intimidation, especially with the elderly, is just one of the things you excel at. You may only be a lackey to a corrupt politician right now, but everyone knows you're a future Indian MLA.
Mostly Hs: You are Raunak Anand.
You're a grown man who goes by the name Dumpy. Your dance moves are lame, your acting sucks, but at least you know the golden rule on how to pick a hotel room – get the one with a working flush. You do not discriminate against people from the Northeast. Good on you.
Mostly Is: You are Vishwa Ghose.
You're that guy who sucks at keeping in touch with old friends, and tries to make up for it with impromptu plans that mix random groups at random resorts. Making up, is in fact, what you do best. When you are not trying to patch people up, you're doing your best to host rock show after-parties. Your friends always make the guest list. Most girls still think you're the one that got away.
My biggest issue with Pink, was the black and white of it all. Did the guys have to be 'bad'? Did Rajveer Singh have to have political connections? Why couldn't the movie be about relatable guys – the Dominics of the world – who could've been in the same situation? Crime of passion, heat of the moment, all of that. Why couldn't you give me a little grey area to think? Giving me a cardboard cut-out bad guy just makes me want to root for the girls. Ditto, about the lawyers – one was face, one was heel. Come on. For a courtroom drama, it's shitty. Go, watch The Practice.
Now, don't get me wrong. I didn't hate Pink, but I could not love it. It toes the line between Sucks and Doesn't Suck, but never really picks a side. On the Doesn't Suck side, there's the five-minute 'Superwoman' banter. On the Sucks side, there's almost everything else. (Yes, that 'Superwoman' part was that good.)
Pink is not the movie you watch to better understand 'consent'. This is:
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By Dominic S