Straight up, uncut and raw. Puff puff pass.
There’s nothing finer than a damsel who knows her green from her stems. Or her papers from her pipe. Straight up, uncut and raw. Puff Puff Pass. Whether its coal or grass.
Wild travel sprees are to me what poetic justice was to Neruda, or what a fresh sea trout is to Gordon Ramsay. On my journeys through Europe, several things felt golden such as space cake and hash brownies featuring below green tea varieties on a menu - all a far cry from here where you can’t even catch a beef steak legally.
Many experiences stand out, of the girls who loved getting higher than jumbo jets only to crash land in my arms.
So, from my travels with the birds and the bees, here’s my list of 8 types of ladies that puff trees:
1. The girl who kicks off when the chronic kicks in.
This one is a personal favourite: She brings the tree, the food and the Vajeje. She will then proceed to get wiped out within minutes with you deeply captivated by her charm: win-win. Gals like this have the weed DNA – their parents were usually big fans of the bud and named their daughter while blazing.
2. The girl who’s too picky for her own good when the munchies hit us.
Girl : “Oh my god I’m so blazed and really hungry. Hmmm I’m thinking let’s get some momos and Cambodian curry, that pepperoni pizza, maybe a Thai combo meal and some cheese fondue? Ooh. I know. We should get some de-shelled lobster too and that family pack frozen yoghurt.”
Boy : “Sure. I wish my granddad would die right now so I have the inheritance money to pay for all this.”
3. The girl who slurs after two hits.
This one is like a prizefighter; she talks big after even a small hit. Lady get with the program and remember : slurring is for the after-party. At this rate there will be no after-party for you because you’ll be face down and blabbing into your own dribble.
4. The girl who is the godmother of stoners and knows more about acid than Hoffmann.
Albert Hoffmann invented Lysergic Acid Diethylamide, LSD; supposedly the most potent drug known to mankind. The drug which they say causes you to hear sight and see sound. If you find yourself with this kind of girl, it’s safe to say: she will never say no to anything and you know what that means: Safe journey bro. Wear a seat belt.
5. The girl who is infinity on the laugh-o-meter
This one is like a gem in the mud or like diamond in the rough. If she laughs more than she talks, you know you’re in for a mad fun time. Having said that, be careful while stuffing your face with dry munchies like chips or cake when rolling in laughter. Don’t choke this time. It’s not sexy.
6. The girl who just won’t stop talking
This reminds me of that age old saying: 'Please don’t kill my vibe'. I love having a stimulating TWO SIDED conversation with somebody while we get to know each other. But once she gets going, this one has more yak in her than Tibet.
7. The girl who was a Wirgin (WeedVirgin) until just now – or so she says.
Somehow I never believe a virgin story but even if she’s lying she will come at you with the seeking spirit of an upcoming mega stoner. And where there’s smoke there’s fire. Flame on!
8. The girl who doesn’t leave the house until she’s baked sideways.
This is a very rampant category amongst young 20-something hotlings all over the world. If she can recognize herself in the mirror, the last one wasn’t fat enough. That’s her motto. And life goal. So having an intellectual conversation with this one is harder than Hugh Hefner's joystick after some potent Viag; if it’s still a joystick.
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are independent views solely of the author(s) expressed in their private capacity and do not in any way represent or reflect the views of 101india.com
By Roshmin Mehandru
Photographs by: Karan Khosla