“As a teacher, I always want my students to do the right thing, the right way,” says Bharat Singh. “It is important, especially for the subject I teach,” he chuckles, lighting a cigarette and leaning over a polished white table. I realise that what he says, is perhaps the mantra for most teachers across the world. However, this 30 something man with short hair, a dusky complexion and a jolly demeanour isn’t a conventional educator. A successful marketing consultant by day, he is a guiding light to those struggling to find the path to pleasure. Bharat Singh is a teacher of the art of ‘BDSM’. (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism as a type of sexual practice)

Like most teachers, his journey too started off as a student, 10 years ago. Bharat was looking for newer ways and methods to maximize sexual pleasure before he got married, which is when he started experimenting with BDSM. “I had multiple teachers who taught me different aspects about kinks and fetishism,” he states clarifying that most of these teachers were essentially ‘play partners’ with a considerable amount of experience in the subject. This ‘experience’ is what a person needs to qualify as a BDSM teacher, though people with a formal degree in sex and sexuality hold greater expertise.

Experience is required to teach BDSM. Image source: dasniyasommer.de

Experience is required to teach BDSM. Image source: dasniyasommer.de

When asked the reason to formally learn this art as opposed to getting his information online, Bharat smiles coyly and tells me that getting half information is as dangerous as information that is incorrect and not credible; while also stressing upon the importance of doing things the ‘right way’ — which is exactly what is discussed and demonstrated in a typical BDSM class.

Bharat meets his students, either an individual or a couple over coffee or dinner wherein he understands their medical and mental health history. He tells me that sometimes psychological pain could be more traumatic than physical pain, which is why it is important to lay boundaries. Consent is at the heart of BDSM, so it is essential to understand if both the partners are on the same page. He then asks his pupils about their kinks, fets and sexual experience. If everything seems fine, they proceed to the room.

Once inside Bharat makes sure that basic hygiene and safety prevail. Things like rope, needle and candle play need precision else it could be seriously injurious. For example, one cannot drop candle wax on a bare body. It needs to be properly oiled and moisturized. Secondly, hygiene, such as sterilizing needles is important just as the right way to slap, spank, strangulate so that pleasure is maximized and pain is minimum. Teachers like Bharat ensure this by demonstrating it on the students and then by monitoring the act.

One needs to be careful of the hot candle wax. Image source: zest4lifenlove.com

One needs to be careful of the hot candle wax. Image source: zest4lifenlove.com

“Contrary to popular belief BDSM is less about sex and more about the exchange of power and emotion, an emotion that isn’t necessarily love," states Bharat.
“But have any of your students ever fallen in love with you?” I ask curiously.

He lets out a giggle and tells me that it happens all the time as a lot of people find it hard to separate love and sex, which is why they tend to get clingy. However, as a teacher, he makes it clear in the beginning that the session is strictly a form of education and nothing else.

Bharat is also very particular about the students he chooses. “No minors or virgins. Only people who have had considerable experience with sex. Also, everyone needs to be sober during the class,” he affirms.

Related: A Member Of The BDSM And Indian Swinging Community Reveals A Lot More Than His Fetishes

In the last six years, Bharat has taught many consenting individuals. He works a lot with couples as well. However, most of his clientele constitutes of LGBTQIA students, as they tend to be more explorative. Having conducted countless classes in India, he tells me how the number of people wanting to explore BDSM went up after '50 Shades of Grey' was released. Though it was a very bad example — BDSM isn’t about sexual manipulation but consensual powerplay — it did manage to get a lot of people interested. This is where Bharat’s role became important — to rid people of misconceptions and negative connotations associated with BDSM.

Consent is at the heart of BDSM, be it in any form. Image source: theguardian.com

Consent is at the heart of BDSM, be it in any form. Image source: theguardian.com

“If practised properly, BDSM is great for body positivity. It helps you get rid of body image issues by making you very comfortable with your skin as well as your partner’s,” Bharat tells me recounting his own experiences and his own equation with his partner, which he affirms is 'very healthy.'

Related: A BDSM Play-Shop Opens Up The World Of Dominatrix And Submission To Me

Bharat has always been an encouraging educator, not just to his pupils but also to his friends. He is constantly telling them about ways to spice up their sex lives. Though Bharat loves to be a BDSM teacher and he conducts these classes free of cost, he modestly states that he too is constantly learning. The classes he conducts are free of cost and are very open-ended, though there is a clear MoU agreed upon beforehand. Still, there is no escaping awkward sessions and encounters. He tells me, quite amused that sometimes people get angry and walk out. Other embarrassing cases are those of bad odour and prolonged farts.

BDSM spices up people's sex lives. Image source:nytimes.com

BDSM spices up people's sex lives. Image source:nytimes.com

Though Bharat is not offering any classes currently, he suggests that interested people look for teachers online – smartly and with care. “The social media is full of lousy, horny people who may not be qualified, so research well,” he warns adding that one can also look out for MUNCHES, which is an informal gathering of people to discuss BDSM and kink and network for one-on-one sessions.

Related: I Became A Moderator For An Adult Fiction Site

India surprisingly has a growing kink community. According to the India Today Sex Survey 2016, nearly 41.8 per cent of Indians practice some form of role-playing, domination or submission. However, in a country where talking about sex and sexuality itself is a taboo, a positive conversation about kink and BDSM is bound to stay behind locked doors for a long time. But it is because of teachers like Bharat that a healthy, safe and most importantly, a consensual practice of BDSM is emerging – which is why we’d like to wish him a very Happy Teachers’ Day!

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are independent views solely of the author(s) expressed in their private capacity and do not in any way represent or reflect the views of 101india.com.

By Devyani Nighoskar
Cover photo credit: Karan Nevatia